The Woman at Church Everyone Sees

By EMILY SIMPSON
Baptist Progress Editor

Mrs. Charlotte Johnson (second on left) and friends coming together for fellowship and Bible Study

Ladies, the pastor’s wife is not your pastor.
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A big misconception often exists that a pastor’s wife is there to meet every need of every lady, participate in every church event, have knowledge of every spiritual concept or be the epitome of every stereotype. Perhaps an exaggeration, or perhaps not. In reality, she has a much different responsibility that is not much different than your own.
 
Scripture directs her to be a trustworthy wife to her husband, working hard and bringing good to her family and community, as you are (Proverbs 31:10-31). She’s to be a disciple-maker of other women, as you are (Titus 2:3-5). She’s to practice godly behavior, submission and a gentle and quite spirit, as you are (1 Peter 3:1-6). She’s to watch her tongue, be sober minded, and faithful, as you are (1 Timothy 3:11). And in so doing, she adorns the doctrine of the gospel, as you can (Titus 2:10).
 
Where her role does differ, the depths of it will be seen by her family, close friends and God alone.
 
“When I chose to marry Charles Johnson, then I was called into the ministry to serve as his helpmate,” acknowledges Charlotte Johnson, a pastor’s wife veteran of 54 years. Mrs. Charlotte’s love for God, His church and His people has allowed her to learn this and many other valuable truths that she has in turn taught to other women. As Titus 2 instructs.
 
“My husband is called to serve a sovereign God. He is charged to reach the world for Christ and to impact the present for eternity. I am called to serve my Savior as a child of God and work alongside my preacher husband. What a privilege. This is not a job, but a lifestyle and calling from God,” Mrs. Charlotte explains.
 
Our society used to associate all women with their husband’s job. They were a team, but it did not mean she was tasked to do the job her husband performed. Her willingness to be an active helper, supporter or business partner made all the difference. Much like the effect a modern pastor’s wife has today.
 
“She can be a great influence on her husband’s ministry, or she can be a hinderance,” Mrs. Charlotte warns, “women of the church need a leader and an encourager. The Lord has chosen you [pastor’s wife] to be your husband’s helpmeet and walk beside him in ministry.”
 
Such a task is easier said than done, any pastor or preacher’s wife knows this. From spiritual and emotional drainage to church conflict. And often, the woman at church who appears she’s got it all together, is the one who needs someone to reach out to her the most. Yet, as tough as it can be God is the one who equips and strengthens her to endure through these challenges (Galatians 6:9). His grace is sufficient, and it is sufficient for the trials you face too (2 Corinthians 12:9).
 
“There is no greater joy than to be married to a minister,” Mrs. Charlotte truly believes.
 
So though your pastor’s wife is not automatically a member of the church staff, she’s not guaranteed to know how to play the piano, apart from God her home belongs to her and her family and she may or may not have seminary education, rest assured she is a Christ follower seeking to be obedient and please Him, I hope just like you.
 
Take notice the next time you’re around your pastor’s wife. How has she come alongside her husband in ministry, not to do his job, but to support it? How have you benefited from her presence at your church? Does she have a kind and caring heart that scripture describes? Does she have a loyalty to truth that you admire and wish to imitate? Is she always the first to volunteer in service? She may not have a perfect home, but is the atmosphere welcoming in a way that others aren’t? 
 
Write her a note, ask about and invest in her life, make a meal for her and her family. Find ways to encourage her efforts in Christlikeness and for all that she does. If you see these efforts from her lacking, then encourage her by going the extra step and model those things yourself. In the end, you may find a new understanding of one another and a deeper connection to the God you both serve.

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